"I was in church and a man burst in with a gun. He walked right up to an elderly saint, someone I always figured was ready for Heaven, held a gun to her head, and said, 'Deny God or I'll pull the trigger.' She smiled and said, 'That is something I could never do,' so he killed her, her brain flying out of her skull."
"I think I've heard this one before," I said, but he continued:
"Next in the dream, the shooter found a person in the church who I considered 'lukewarm' where Christ was concerned, on the fence about his faith. 'Deny God or I'll pull the trigger,' the shooter said. The man hesitated for a moment, then -- though he seemed nervous about it -- said, 'No, I can't deny him.' So his bloody brain ended up everywhere too. I knew that he had finally made the correct decision and that he immediately went to Heaven. Everyone in the church was slaughtered in the same way: they wouldn't deny God and they were killed for it. Then suddenly, in the dream, I was at a convention for atheists..."
"Ah, here comes the punchline," I said.
"This isn't a joke. It's a dream," he said. "The gunman walked up to the keynote speaker and held the gun to his head. To him, he said, 'Say that you believe in Jesus with all your heart or I'll kill you.' The atheist actually laughed a little, but then repeated the words, as if to humor the gunman. 'Again!' the gunman screamed, so he said it again: 'I believe in Jesus with all my heart.' 'Again!' 'I believe in Jesus with all my heart!' Then the atheist started sobbing, saying, 'I believe in Jesus with all my heart, with all my soul, and I give my life to him!' Everyone at the convention began sobbing, repenting, and professing, and the killer opened fire on them all, a bloody massacre, sending them immediately to Heaven. It was like God's mercy. Then, in the dream, I was alone... just me and the man with the gun..." He stopped.
"Eh, the rest of the dream isn't important. Never mind."
"C'mon. Tell me."
"Well, the truth is, the dream ended there. The man held the gun to my head, he told me to deny God or he'd pull the trigger. But before I had the chance to say anything, I woke up in a puddle of come."